Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
