I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
