so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
