I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
