I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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