We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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