Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
