There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
