if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
