FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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