if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
