do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
