Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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