I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
She told me I should be a condom model.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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