On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
