We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
