I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
