Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Randomize
