Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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