Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
