I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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