it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
