You just made me feel so damn special
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Randomize
