is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
smell my finger.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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