OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
