And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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