I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
