was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
