so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
