Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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