We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
