do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
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