Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
His nipple licking is glorious
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