do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
