i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
