sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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