Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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