we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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