census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
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