Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Fuck appropriateness.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
