bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
