toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Randomize
