Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
how does that bad decision feel?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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