how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
