If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
