Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
