i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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