i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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