just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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