would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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