I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
