If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
