My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
